Note that OpenLayers now supports (as of Aug 2) reading and writing of multiple symbolizers per rule and multiple FeatureTypeStyle elements per UserStyle. This greatly increases the SLD elements that we can round trip through the OpenLayers SLD parser (and consequently, through Styler).
I've also recently added support for reading and writing custom GeoServer vendor options in Styler. While not yet exposed to through the GUI, at least these will be preserved if you are editing your SLD by hand and with Styler.
I also just confirmed that the latest Styler works with Chrome (please send word if you are still seeing Chrome issues).
I grant that styling with Styler is still very tedious. We'll continue to work on reducing the tedium. If you are interested in trying out the latest Styler, see the OpenGeo Suite community downloads page (version 2.1.1 and above have all the fixes mentioned above).
I know this is not entirely relevant to your search for a flash based solution, but I thought some updated information on Styler was worthwhile.