Really not a definitive answer but an answer to complete more (waiting community :) !
The main ideas why SLD is not used everywhere as a data exchange is history, verbosity, extensibility, output support.
History
ArcGIS comes before the SLD standard exists.
MapInfo format doesn't separate style from content so you can't separate data from rendering like for SLD and GML.
Also because of history and retrocompatibily with older software version, models to represent map styles are not two ways compatible.
One main difference come too wwhenwhen comparing GIS software and CAD software. Two ecosystem, well separated for a long time and where CAD symbology is more complex.
Verbosity
All people are not XML lovers and so they prefer other syntax like CartoCSS
Extensibility
You can't do every type of styling with SLD as it is.
See for example the limitation concerning hatching so Geoserver team extend the default.
You can also think about shadow and compositing that SLD standard does not support.
Support
Depending of support (paper, devices, ...) and screen resolutions, a width of 1 in a software is not equal to the same width in other one.
Paper width 1 is different from on screen.
Units matters!!
Some softwares to deal better with SLD
- Quantum GIS SLD
- Atlas Styler (it doesn't have a maintainer anymore)
- Geoserver styler
- already mentionned Arcmap2sld