How about this an radical idea, it would require you to program in python or ArcObjects.

1. Convert your grid to a point featureclasss.
2. Create XY fields and populate.
3. Load the points into a dictionary where key is a string of X,Y and item is cell value..
4. Step through your dictionary and for each point work out the 8 surrounding cell XYs.
5. Retrieve these from your dictionary and test with your rules, as soon as you find a value that is true you can skip the rest of the tests.
6. Write the results to another dictionary and then convert back to a grid by first creating a point FeatureClass and then convert points to a grid.

How about this as a radical idea, it would require you to program in python or ArcObjects.

1. Convert your grid to a point featureclasss.
2. Create XY fields and populate.
3. Load the points into a dictionary where key is a string of X,Y and item is cell value..
4. Step through your dictionary and for each point work out the 8 surrounding cell XYs.
5. Retrieve these from your dictionary and test with your rules, as soon as you find a value that is true you can skip the rest of the tests.
6. Write the results to another dictionary and then convert back to a grid by first creating a point FeatureClass and then convert points to a grid.

How about this an idea, it would require you to program in python.

1. Convert your grid to a point featureclasss
2. Create XY fields and populate
3. Load the points into a dictionary where key is a string of X,Y and item is cell value..
4. Step through your dictionary and for each point work out the 8 surrounding cell XYs, retrieve these from your dictionary and test with your rules, as soon as you find a value that is true you can skip the rest of the tests.

Write the results to another dictionary and then convert back to a grid.

How about this an radical idea, it would require you to program in python or ArcObjects.

1. Convert your grid to a point featureclasss.
2. Create XY fields and populate.
3. Load the points into a dictionary where key is a string of X,Y and item is cell value..
4. Step through your dictionary and for each point work out the 8 surrounding cell XYs.
5. Retrieve these from your dictionary and test with your rules, as soon as you find a value that is true you can skip the rest of the tests.
6. Write the results to another dictionary and then convert back to a grid by first creating a point FeatureClass and then convert points to a grid.