I'm assuming we're both talking about the [SLD][1] XML schema specified by the Open Geospatial Consortium (OGC) for describing the appearance of map layers.

> I have SLD's/lyr files with my shp/gdb files. They all have the same
> name except for the extension. Is it possible for me to force qgis to
> load the sld with the shp so that I don't need to manually go to
> properties, load style and ok it? In arcmap I can just open the lyr
> instead of the .shp -is there a similar process for qgis.

Unfortunately, you still have to l[oad SLD styles manually][2] for version 1.8 of QGIS.


  [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Styled_Layer_Descriptor
  [2]: http://www.webrian.ch/2012/04/native-sld-support-in-qgis.html