> I have SLD's/lyr files with my shp/gdb files. They all have the same
> name except for the extension. Is it possible for me to force qgis to
> load the sld with the shp so that I don't need to manually go to
> properties, load style and ok it? In arcmap I can just open the lyr
> instead of the .shp -is there a similar process for qgis.

QGIS now supports SLD styles but you have to import them manually after loading the file.

> Can I get my geoserver to automatically sync with the data in one of
> my drives?

You'd have to upload the SLD file to Geoserver and associate it with the shape file layer AFAIK.

> Also is it fair to assume that the SLD associated with a shp will look
> exactly the same when they are loaded into geoserver? In some tests
> this seems to be true.

Theoretically they should.

What programs produced your SLD files btw?